tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64593830316367781832024-03-13T08:20:39.531-07:00Planning, Preparing and Peace with Kay DillerA place for all of us to brainstorm and share on ways to plan and prepare for a medical emergency. No one likes to think about this, but when something happens, being prepared allows you to focus on what's important - getting you or your loved one well!
Please visit my website at <a href="http://kaydiller.com">http://kaydiller.com.</a>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-16942689557652819562011-03-14T16:32:00.000-07:002011-03-14T17:10:37.291-07:00Almost Seven Years Later...<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>My mother passed close to seven years ago and through her death, our family fell apart. I have not spoken with a sister of mine for five, or is it six years, and thought perhaps we never would speak again. She cut me off completely. I remember calling her at least five years ago and asking her to come visit us. Actually, I had my daughter call her and ask her to come out, figuring she couldn't say no to that darling little voice, but she did. After reaching out several other times, I gave up. It was too painful to try to keep that relationship alive. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>You ask what made this relationship fall apart so badly? It boiled down to both of us acting incredibly poorly when my mother became ill and passed in a short five months. I will take half the blame, but you cannot tango alone, as the saying goes. Fractured families are very common with those of us who are unprepared for a medical emergency. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>This last weekend, another one of my sisters, Sandy, came to visit for the first time since my mother passed. It was wonderful to have her here and we had a blast. I'm so thankful she finally got up the courage to come back to where there were such painful memories. We did not talk about how long it had been or why she had always said no when I invited her to visit us: We just enjoyed being sisters. And she got to be part of my family's celebration of my youngest daughter's official debut as the leading lady, Josephine, in "HMS Pinafore." (I'll post the video of Journey's solo in the next week or so.) </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Another highlight of the weekend is that I spoke with my other sister who had cut me out of her life for so many years. Sandy was talking with her on the phone and Sandy said "Here, you tell her," and she handed me the phone, while my other sister proceeded to stroll down memory lane with a story from our past. I handed the phone back to Sandy and started to choke up. My eyes filled with tears and I thought I was going to break down right then and there (we were in the Denver airport, so I was trying hard to keep it together!). I told my sister that I wished she were there with us and she said she would come out and visit us. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>What made her change? I'm not sure. Perhaps she realized that life is too short without every single loved one being in your life. She is getting older (btw, I'm the young, beautiful one now...) and perhaps her defenses are becoming weaker. I think I'm at the stage of my maturity where I don't care what is making her change. I am willing to get out there and risk my heart again. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Mother, if you are watching, I'm sure you are letting out a long-held breathe. A breathe you held for the last seven years while our family healed itself from losing you. </span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Until next time,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-24205371305616281252011-03-05T13:56:00.000-08:002011-03-05T14:04:57.146-08:00Brooke's Place at Carlton (California)<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I'm very excited to share my cousins' excitement on the opening of their new in-home care for senior adults located in Carlton, California, which is close to San Diego. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Below is the flyer with more information. You can click on the image to enlarge it. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I highly recommend Brook and Doug Morgan, along with their wonderful sons and "The Boys" (their very loving dogs). I've reserved my place with them already.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Did I mention Brooke loves to cook? </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><i style="color: #134f5c;">Congrats, again, Brooke and Doug!</i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3FLA2BWwok2q22e5a9ac4pOGTuuFGJVcrs6MnZLp18_0uY1xW9y0EYAZx2zz2dx1v3l30mfuAjRHp2oEKzReXh1NX4-4j_8XfXru6w9YpeneGeBb5GokFzhkS2umcb0WFmuTyeN2TcOW/s1600/Brooke%2527s+Place.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3FLA2BWwok2q22e5a9ac4pOGTuuFGJVcrs6MnZLp18_0uY1xW9y0EYAZx2zz2dx1v3l30mfuAjRHp2oEKzReXh1NX4-4j_8XfXru6w9YpeneGeBb5GokFzhkS2umcb0WFmuTyeN2TcOW/s320/Brooke%2527s+Place.gif" width="234" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-45659410575295016342011-03-05T13:25:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:35:44.339-08:00Financial vs Medical Durable Powers of Attorney<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Many of us don't know what a </i><i><b><span style="color: #7f6000;">Financial Durable Power of Attorney </span></b>and a </i><i><b><span style="color: #7f6000;">Medical Durable Power of Attorney</span></b> are or how they work. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>For now, if you can separate the two as giving power to act for you regarding your <b style="color: #7f6000;">finances </b>(Financial Durable Power of Attorney) and the power to act for you regarding your <b><span style="color: #7f6000;">medical decisions</span> </b>(Medical Durable Power of Attorney). The Durable aspect of these powers is another blog, which I promise I'll write in the near future.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>If you are unfamiliar with these two types of power you can give to another person, it may sound kind of scary to give that much power to someone else. What if they abuse this power and take all of your money? What if they don't come to the hospital and make sure you are taken care should you not be able to speak? </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0-aWpSXj36zH9n6GoJsf6p0UrLmrWoc2jg461K22FX3-tO5dFsVFjSpG9ieG3uk4HGJ6HIqlnEtcH17VzevCmV3z5X0yknQ9XsDSzaJgss65qDE1mDYGPjQYqvHIWFU93Re6bz7BZCaW8/s1600/durable+attorney+compairson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0-aWpSXj36zH9n6GoJsf6p0UrLmrWoc2jg461K22FX3-tO5dFsVFjSpG9ieG3uk4HGJ6HIqlnEtcH17VzevCmV3z5X0yknQ9XsDSzaJgss65qDE1mDYGPjQYqvHIWFU93Re6bz7BZCaW8/s320/durable+attorney+compairson.jpg" width="232" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i> </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>These are very real concerns and that is why it is important to choose your agents (people who step into your shoes for you when you need their help). We'll be talking more about how to choose an agent another day, but for now, choose these people carefully, just as you will your childrens' guardians.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>As a brief introduction into these two powers that are a regular part of your legal papers that your estate lawyer will help you with, take a look at the comparison table I've included here. Even if you don't understand anything more than this table when you talk with your estate lawyer, you'll be doing better than most people. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>This topic of durable powers of attorney has so many sub-topics that it will take a while for us to work through everything. We'll take it nice and easy and break out the chunks of information into easy to understand language. This is a good first step. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-56579709603626488792011-03-05T05:34:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:37:12.813-08:00Hospital Advocates: A necessity in today's world<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>My mom's best friend, Wilma, called last night, distraught because her husband, Chuck, is in the hospital with some very serious complications and pain. I was ready to jump in my car and drive to the hospital when she told me the doctor had not yet examined Chuck. That sort of situation drives me absolutely crazy. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I asked Wilma if she had contacted the Patient Advocate or Social Worker at the hospital to get some help and she had, but the woman was ready to go home as it was Friday night. Scary situation. It will be a very long weekend for Wilma and Chuck. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I recently came across a program put together by Bart Windrum, Hospital Patient Advocate, which states on Bart's website:</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #b45f06;"><i>"Axiom Action’s </i><i>Hospital Patient Advocate is dedicated to, and focused on, helping patient-family members understand why we're at unanticipated risk. Bart's how-to publications and presentations tell how you can and why you must help yourself and your hospitalized loved ones. Bart's insights help providers experience their world from the patient-family's perspective."</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>You can find out more about Bart at: <a href="http://www.hospitalpatientadvocate.com/">http://www.hospitalpatientadvocate.com/</a>. </i> </div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>The reason I mention Bart's program is that my program is all about getting ready for a medical emergency, while Bart's program helps people once they are in the hospital. Our programs complement one another and I can't wait to learn more about his program when Bart and I meet in the near future. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I'll let you know what I learn after talking with Bart. In the meanwhile, check out his website and his services.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-85130023530584234002011-03-05T05:16:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:37:29.310-08:00Handwritten wills - Don't even think of going there!<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>It sounds so easy. Write down who gets what and sign the paper. There is your will! Not so fast, I say! And come to find out, so does the Colorado Bar Association (CBA).</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">The Colorado Bar publishes great brochures relating to wills, guardianships, and what to do when someone dies (see the end of this blog for the link to these brochures). What do they have to say about hand-written wills? </span></i><br />
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<div style="color: #b45f06;"><i><span id="content20909"> <b>"How should a will be done?</b><br />
A will may be handwritten or typed, and it must be signed and dated by the willmaker (or at the willmaker’s direction). The will must be witnessed by two uninterested parties, and should be notarized.<br />
<b style="color: #45818e;">You are strongly encouraged to work with an attorney to write your will</b><span style="color: #45818e;">,</span> but Colorado generally recognizes handwritten, or “holographic,” wills. Drafting a will requires special skills, and holographic wills are frequently found to be ambiguous or defective, causing delay, expense, and possibly litigation."<br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">I speak from experience when I say handwritten wills are not a good thing to do. My mother wrote out her wishes on a sheet of paper and gave it to me. When she became ill, I completely forgot about it as I had not looked at it for years. And come to find out, her "will" was really more of a medical declaration of what she wanted to happen during a medical emergency or the end of her life. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">Had she had a lawyer help her with her will and medical declarations, I really believe that the end of her life would have been much easier, not just on her, but on her loved ones, too. With five daughters, all very strong minded, I might add, we all had ideas of how Mom should be taken care of. But what did Mom want? We all remembered different conversations with Mom and brought in our own flavor of what to do at the end of life. It was very difficult for all of us, something I know my mom would never have wanted for us. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">When thinking about writing your own legal documents, please think again. It may sound easy to write down what you want to happen after you die, but it can turn out to be a whole different story when you are no longer here to clarify questions that come up. This is especially important when deciding who will care for your minor children. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">Don't take chances that your legal documents will meet state requirements and everyone will know what you want from a piece of paper with your signature on it. Find an estate lawyer to work with. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;">Not sure how to find an estate lawyer? Check out my book that has a section dedicated to finding and working with estate lawyers: <b style="color: #b45f06;">Six Easy Steps to Find the Right Estate Lawyer for You</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">I promise you, it will be less expensive to work with an estate lawyer now than to have a court step in after you are gone because your handwritten will is not considered valid. Do it once and do it right. Your loved ones will thank you!</span></span></i><br />
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<i><span id="content20909"><span style="color: #134f5c;">As promised above, here is the link to the Colorado Bar Association's on-line brochures: <a href="http://www.cobar.org/page.cfm/ID/2760/%20%20">http://www.cobar.org/page.cfm/ID/2760/ </a></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">Take care,</span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></span></i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-12380036801762709792011-02-21T13:00:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:37:47.350-08:00Getting Older - It's Not All It's Cracked Up To Be...<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>A friend of mine and her daughter were here this last weekend for a climbing competition. Her daughter is an incredible climber and they were in Boulder for the nationals. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>During the long weekend, my friend and I were discussing some of our pains and illnesses that seem to be coming on more and more as we get older. We did not anticipate getting older when we were young and strong (she was a Stanford woman's softball coach, so when I say young and strong, I mean it!). And my first injury or serious pain in life was when, as an adult, I got a whiplash from a roller coaster ride in Santa Cruz. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>So what is it like to get older? That's hard for me to put into words, but I'm going to try. I know myself so much better than I ever could have when I was younger. I like myself and my friends more than I did when I was younger. My friends now have a certain grace that comes with aging. Plus, I choose my friends more carefully now than I did before. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>My body is definitely changing. I just laughed out loud at that simple statement. I can't keep weight off like I used to. My skin is not as taunt as it once was. My feet hurt sometimes. Overall, I am thankful I am healthy and strong. I just wish...</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>that as we aged, we did not have as many illnesses and diseases -- just like when we were younger. It seems like once we hit 40 and 50, surprises come our way that we never thought would happen to us. Like the increase in cancer and heart disease. Diabetes. Arthritis. And dementia. Yes, at 40, dementia is now easy to diagnose and is a scary thing to live with, along with all the other diseases that are prevalent as we get older.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>If you are in your 40's or 50's and you have not yet taken care of you will, guardianships for your children, and powers of attorney for medical and finances, to name a few, please think about it. No one ever expects to age. Don't ask me why. Nor do we expect to have serious medical conditions where we possibly cannot fend or make decisions for ourselves. That only happens to other people.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take a minute and think about my 9 step program found on my website at: <a href="http://www.kaydiller.com/9steps">http://www.kaydiller.com/9steps</a>. I promise you, my 9 step program will help you get things organized and in order in a simple and effective way. Go do it now, before something else takes away your attention, like that back pain that wasn't there yesterday! </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-79288144749751442382011-02-13T10:47:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:38:04.740-08:00Reviewing Insurance Coverage (boring!)<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">I don't know about you, but I can procrastinate on reviewing my insurance cover from now until forever. It's tedious and takes time away from what I really like doing - just hanging out! So today, I am making myself a promise that I will go out on the internet and get new quotes on my car insurance. I think I'll have to narrow down what that means, too. I will get bids from three (3) insurance companies that I've heard good things about over the last few years. There, a narrow and easy to accomplish goal. I'll be back...</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">I'm back after looking at my car insurance and with only one insurance company - a huge one that is supposed to give the best rates. So much for that goal of three quotes, but wait until you hear what I learned... </span></b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">While my policy is about $100 more a year, I get much better coverage than the other company would offer. This is probably due to my being with my current insurance company for so many years. Plus, they have a local office where I know the people who help me with questions. I'm staying put for now. </span></b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">That was fast and painless - gosh, why didn't I do this a long time ago? </span></b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">Now I know I have the insurance coverage I want with my car at a price I am comfortable with. I could have let go of that nagging voice in my head a long time ago - that voice that rags on me when I procrastinate. I'm sure you have a voice of your own, too. Get rid of it like I did just now. </span></b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">So what's your excuse? Seriously, get out there and do some comparisons on your insurance. I have friends who reduced their car insurance by 40% when they did a comparison quote. Maybe you can, too, or maybe you'll be like me and find out that you are happy with your coverage. Either way, you'll know for sure you have the coverage you want and need. Spend the time. It's worth it. </span></b></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">Take care,</span></b></span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><b><span style="color: #741b47;">Kay</span></b></span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-85278151133831651662011-01-30T14:35:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:38:17.984-08:00Getting and staying strong<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Staying healthy is a challenge, especially for those of us no longer in our 20's. Avoiding medical emergencies such as diabetes, heart failure and even cancer can be minimized by watching our weight and what we eat and making sure we get enough sleep - or in other words, by changing our life style to one where we take better care of ourselves. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i> </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I've been reading lately about the importance of sleep. I did not realize that cancer loves it when we don't get enough sleep (Yikes, when I think of those sleepless nights when I knew I was going to lose my job!). Cancer also loves sugar and hates oxygen, so lowering our sugar intake and exercising (which increases oxygen in our bodies) are great ways to keep ourselves healthy and looking great, too! </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I have a saying that I tell my kids all the time: <b> You cannot avoid life.</b> </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>There are challenges and obstacles in life even when we do everything we are supposed to do for a life style that is conducive to good health and well being. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>By being mindful of what we eat, how much sleep we get, and the quality of people we hang out with (positive people help our immune system) can make the difference between unnecessary medical emergencies and hospital stays that we could have avoided. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Did I mention that sharing time with positive people has a strong impact on our immune system, too? Well, it was worth repeating. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i> </i></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-65849244550736607152011-01-16T06:56:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:39:05.143-08:00Blogger Bosom Buddies (or the B3s)<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I recently joined up with three other bloggers who are interested in promoting their businesses and books, just like I am. We ended up calling ourselves the "<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Blogger Bosom Buddies,</b>" or as I like to refer to us "<b>The B3s.</b>" </span></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Below is information on their blogs, books and businesses. I'd love for you to support their efforts and share their blogs, books, and anything else about them with others who have a like-minded interest. </span> </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><b><span class="il">Yvette</span> Francino: "Lessons of Love from a Laptop Dancer</b>" </i><br />
<i><a href="http://singleagainonlinediary.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://singleagainonlinediary.<wbr></wbr>blogspot.com</a></i><br />
<br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Yvette's blog has been geared toward love, but mostly for singles / dating. Her next project is "<b>The Love Project</b>" which will have weekly exercises designed at giving and receiving love (starting with love of self). The hope from this project is to write another book, similar to "The Happiness Project."</i><br />
<br />
<i> </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><b>Rebecca Mullen: "Altered Spaces" </b></i><br />
<i><b> </b><a href="http://www.altaredspaces.com/" target="_blank">www.altaredspaces.com</a></i><br />
<br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Rebecca's blog is about community and noticing joy in ordinary things or creating "altered spaces." Currently Rebecca is in a Susan Beck coaching program and is looking at growing her coaching business through the use of her blog. </i><br />
<br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><b>Shirley Rivera: "G</b></i><i><b>irl nutkin in the BA" </b></i><br />
<i><b> </b><a href="http://shirlnutkin.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://shirlnutkin.<wbr></wbr>blogspot.com/</a></i><br />
<br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Shirley has been using her blog as a way of connecting and getting inspired by others who think alike. In the past she had done a lot of brainstorming via email with friends and is now sharing via her blog. She describes her blog as "random yippity-yap stories & ponderings & discoveries." </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-86468043863438074852011-01-09T09:33:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:39:19.109-08:00Light a Candle Today<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Yesterday, I blogged about the new health care laws and the emotions that go with this new law. Today Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is in the hospital with a head wound due to a bullet from an assassination attempt that killed six other people, including a nine year old. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, a Democrat, is on the tea party's (i.e., Sarah Palin's) "target" list due to her supporting the health care law and the talk is that this may very well have been what motivated the gunman. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>We have to remove the emotions surrounding this law -- emotions that have nothing to do with supportable facts and figures, but rather are created by a group of people who use words to inflame the public so that the public can be manipulated and controlled for their personal benefit. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I will light a candle today and will pray that our Congress now understands the damage they have done by reaching so low as to stir emotions based on their personal ambitions and need for power, rather than caring for the people who need medical care - the same people who voted for them. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I will also light a candle for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. I know she has good health care, so she is in good hands, something we all need and deserve. </i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-82906320551985954792011-01-08T15:11:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:39:30.904-08:00New Health Care Law<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I just read a <a href="http://blogs.abcnews.com/nightlinedailyline/2011/01/republicans-draw-a-bead-on-obama-health-care-law.html">blog </a>on Obama's health care entitled "Republicans Draw a Bead on Obama Health Care Law." When I read these emotionally charged comments, without any sort of facts or figures supporting them, I just shake my head and wonder if the ones for the new health care law are Democrats and if the ones against it are Republicans. Could it really be that simple? </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I personally believe that every United States citizen has the right to good health care. Actually, I believe that every human being on this planet deserves decent health care. Do I have all the answer about how we can get there? Not yet. Maybe never. I don't understand all the facts and figures any better than those who comment on the new health care law. However, to say that we should go back to the way we were before the new health care law appears wrong to me.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Young women should not be denied coverage or pay extremely high premiums because they are in the child-bearing years. People who need health insurance the most, due to pre-existing conditions, should also not be denied coverage. Older Americans who have paid taxes and into social security their whole lives should not have to pay thousands of dollars a month for medicine due to the "donut hole."</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Before we all start shouting about what is right and wrong, let's take the issue to a personal level. If your daughter was denied insurance and had to go without prenatal care because of the high bills for doctor office visits, would you be so fast to say no to the new health care law, especially if the baby was at risk of being born sickly due to inadequate prenatal care? If you had a pre-existing condition, say prostrate cancer, and could not get insurance coverage, would you say these new laws have no place in America? I know I would not. I would want my daughter and her unborn baby to have the best care possible. And if I had cancer and could not get health insurance because of that, I would want someone in Congress to fight for me, even if the first round of the new law isn't perfect.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>With the advance of Republicans this last election, I truly hope that the balance will encourage everyone to work together on good health care reform. It is what we pay them to do, isn't it?</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></div><h1><br />
</h1><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-14732207541448781122011-01-08T14:40:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:40:02.083-08:00Foreclosures After Death<div style="color: #45818e;"><i>About four months ago, a neighbor of ours passed away due to cancer. During her cancer treatment, she was unable to work and we had heard her mortgage was in foreclosure as she had a job that only paid if she was there. Her chemo treatment wiped out all of her energy and left her very sick, so when she passed, we were sad to see that her house was up for sale under a foreclosure. </i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i>I can only imagine how difficult it had to be for her to go through chemo, not be able to work, and to know that her home was in jeopardy of keeping. </i><br />
<br />
</div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i>I saw her mom a few weeks after my neighbor's passing and I asked if she was going to move into the home, but she said no, the mortgage was too far in the rears to try to keep it. I knew that the mother had considered moving into the home, as it was a lovely way to remember her daughter, but she could not afford to get the payments caught up. </i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i><a href="http://www.foreclosureforum.com/mb/messages/23835.html">Rick, the Probate Guy,</a> looked at a similar situation where the father of a deceased son was being brought into a foreclosure legal suit and the father was concerned he would be responsible for the amount owed on the home that was in foreclosure. A little different facts, but it's important to know that if you are handling an estate for another and there are debts being collected including a foreclosure on a home, you most likely need to contact an estate lawyer in the <u>state of the property</u> to research the best course of action. </i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i>While you, the executor, are NOT held liable for the decedent's debts, the estate may very well have to pay the debts, including any foreclosure activity in order to bring the past-due payments current, if there are funds available from the estate. There is always a possibility that the estate lawyer can negotiate the best outcome for the estate, even when a foreclosure is involved, so it's worth at least a preliminary phone call with an estate lawyer you have researched and trust. </i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i>I wish the mother had moved into her daughter's home as they are a wonderful family and we would have loved to have her as a neighbor. I will always wonder if she contacted an estate lawyer to see if she could save the home through some sort of negotiations with the bank, but after a loss of a daughter, that is not a question I could ask. </i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #45818e;"><i>Take care,</i></div><i style="color: #45818e;"><br />
Kay</i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-89656246532308818432011-01-08T14:11:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:40:10.807-08:00Pet Trusts<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I just recently learned that even when you have a Trust set up to ensure your family pets are taken care of after you die, many states do not enforce or hold the caregiver responsible if they decide to spend the Trust money on something other than your pet. This just seems down right wrong, doesn't it? </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>In order to compensate for this oversight in some of our state's legal systems, Massachusetts animal lovers are hoping to have a new bill signed into law this week by their governor which will legally hold pet caregivers responsible for the care of any animal placed under their care through a Pet Trust. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Should you have an estate lawyer create a Pet Trust for your beloved 4-legged friends, ask about your particular state laws should the person you appoint as the caregiver not perform up to your agreement with them. It is definitely OK for the caregiver to receive payment for their services, but never to the point of your pets not having enough money later on for their vet bills. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Some points of a Pet Trust to consider come from <a href="http://www.childandanimalaw.com/index.php/category/animal-welfare/pet-trust">Gabriela Sandoval's </a>website: </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>"A pet trust is a legally sanctioned arrangement providing for the care and maintenance of one or more specific pet animals in the event of your disability, death or an extended absence. This way, you know your animals will be in good hands even if you can’t be there to take care of your best friend yourself.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i> "The trust has to name a caretaker to take responsibility of your pet and must also name a trustee to manage the trust fund. The fund is money set aside for the caretaker to follow through on your wishes. The trustee, per your specific instructions, can check in periodically with the caretaker to verify your wishes are being carried out." </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>There is no certain amount to put into a Pet Trust, but when putting aside money for the care of your pets, consider their health, their age, and what care you want them to have should they become ill and need medical care. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Since I still have 5 cats and 2 dogs (and don't forget my fish, Chef), what happens to them should I not be able to take care of them is very important to me. I am going to look into a Pet Trust now that I know more about them. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Take care,</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-71443210854999076692010-12-31T11:43:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:41:20.732-08:00An unexpected surgery!<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i>A few months back, I had an unexpected surgery. Nothing too serious, but scary for me, nevertheless! I was in the hospital for only 5 hours and then back home in my nice comfortable bed in no time at all. My best friend, Nana, took great care of me for the next few days while I slept and rested. My children were entertained by their Godmother, Nina, and their cousin, Tricee. We were very well taken care of! </i></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">The best news from this unexpected surgery is that I got to test out my program first handed! </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Before the surgery, I reviewed my binder, which was full of my completed worksheets and important legal documents, which took all of 10 minutes (including updating a few items). Then I showed Nana where my Peace Binder was and went over what she was to do should something unspeakable happen during the surgery. That was it! </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">I let go of worrying about my bills getting paid on time should my recovery take longer than anticipated, along with letting go of worrying about my medical wishes being followed should an artery get accidentally sliced open during the surgery and I unknowingly bleed internally (yes, that's what goes through my mind before surgery! How about you?). I allowed myself the indulgence of focusing on getting myself well fast, because, as you can imagine, being a single mom takes up all of my energy and attention on most days. </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">I was able to let go because of my Peace Binder and my helpers knowing what to do should something unexpected happen during this unexpected surgery. My program really works! </span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Once you get your Peace Binder set up and your caregivers educated on their roles, you, too, can let go and find peace when you have something happen, like an unexpected surgery.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Happy New Year!</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-2273623340771908752010-11-27T14:22:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:41:31.352-08:00Animals and Medical Emergencies<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">I have a soft spot for my four-legged companions, which is shown by having two dogs and five cats. We started out with just two dogs and two cats, but we fostered kittens and their mothers from a local humane society and ended up keeping two of the mothers and one kitten. (We are looking for good homes for two of our adult cats, btw...)</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Having so many pets is a little tricky should a medical emergency come up in my life. Who will take care of them should I should die unexpectedly? Who will make sure that they all find safe and happy homes? </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">I designed a worksheet for all of us to help caretakers know what to do regarding our animals should a medical emergency occur. For me, a good friend of mine will step in and find safe homes for all of them, which is no easy task! This worksheet is located at the back of my workbook, "Planning, Preparing and Peace" and I would love it if you would complete it to ensure the safety and well-being of your animals. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Too many well loved animals end up at a local animal shelter, scared and alone when medical emergencies occur This doesn't need to happen with a little planning on your part.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Now go give your best friend a big hug and tell them you will always take care of them. And then complete the Animals worksheet located at the back of my workbook. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">My best to all during this holiday season!</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Kay</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"> </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;"></span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-87036935820253784252010-11-21T17:39:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:41:57.210-08:00No Peace, even with planning...<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Last week, a neighbor of mine and her 9 year old daughter were found in their garage with carbon monoxide fumes from their car still lingering although it had been close to 24 hours since their passing. We'll never know exactly what happened. During the last few days, someone, most likely a family member, has been at the house, clearing it out and probably trying to figure out what to do with such a tragic ending. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Normally, I would extend my heartfelt condolences, but this one hit my heart hard and all I can do is quickly drive into my garage, face down, rather than look into the face of the person left behind to clean up.There can be no peace with this ending, even if there had been planning. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I have kissed my girls more than usual these last few days and I am more patient and laugh at all their jokes. I wonder how long this sadness will linger. I feel for a long time as I see their house every time I drive into my garage.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Give your kids an extra kiss and hug tonight. Don't explain why...just do it.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>May we all find peace, even in tragic times.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-76819901231646288852010-11-13T14:39:00.000-08:002011-03-05T13:42:21.489-08:00On-Line Legal Forms for Wills, Medical Declarations and Trusts<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>When I first thought of creating a blog for my 9-Step program, I learned that I could add advertising and maybe earn a little money from this. So I eagerly set up advertising areas on my blog and within 10 minutes, I had advertisers on my blog! It was extremely easy!</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Only problem with this is now I had on-line legal firms (and crematory companies!) advertising on my blog that I had no idea who they were or how reputable they were. When you read my book, </i><i>Planning, Preparing and Peace, Creating and Compiling Your Will and Other Essential Documents with Kay Diller, you'll see that I do not recommend using on-line, unknown legal firms to write your legal documents because you never really know what you are working with. This is too important an area in our lives to save a few dollars with these on-line, unknown legal firms. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I believe that we need to deal with estate lawyers that we have researched and have first-hand knowledge about. When you deal with reputable lawyers, yes, you will pay a little more money, but when it's time for these important legal documents to help you, they will work! </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Don't mess around with on-line legal firms...do your homework and hire one that works hard and smart for you. You'll always be glad you did.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>BTW, any advertisers that may show up on my site are companies and legal firms that I have personal information on and wholeheartedly approve of. If you know of estate lawyers, insurance agents/brokers, or other people who can help during a medical emergency, let me know and I will do my research and will happily post their advertisements on my blog.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Until next time,</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-4747663716742412362010-11-06T12:24:00.000-07:002011-03-05T13:42:32.113-08:00Taking care of aging parents<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>One story I have in my book applies to so many of us in the </i><i>sandwich generation. We are still taking care of our children, either at home or at college, and our parents are beginning to need our help, too. See if this story applies to you:</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c; text-align: left;"><i> " John is aging, his health is failing, and his children are very concerned about his living alone. What happens if John falls and a neighbor calls 911? Who would know what medications John needs or had taken that day? Who would know that John is allergic to a medication that gives him shingles? And what about that heart condition that John has and the medication he takes that thins his blood? Would anyone know that John cannot have a blood transfusion due to this medication?" </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c; text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c; text-align: left;"><i> Planning, Preparing and Peace, Page 88</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I often hear from adult children who have an aging parent living at home alone and about the fears the children have about these circumstances. Their concerns are very real about what could happen in an emergency.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><i style="color: #134f5c;">Fortunately, documenting medical information and making it available for emergency resonse teams, as well as other medical care providers, is an easy task to complete with the worksheets I designed with all of us in mind. </i><br />
<br />
<i style="color: #134f5c;">Simple worksheets are located at the end of my book and will be available soon on-line from my website (http://www.kaydiller.com) and were created with the idea that you would complete them based on your particular needs. I'm sure you'll have other worksheets that you need that are not yet part of my collection - so if you have other ideas for worksheets, please be sure to let me know!</i><br />
<br />
<i style="color: #134f5c;">Taking care of aging parent is scary and difficult. Please use my worksheets to help lesson your burden. I spent many, many hours creating these worksheets so that should something happen, you will be as prepared as you can be. </i><br />
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<i style="color: #134f5c;">Until next time,</i><br />
<i style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</i><br />
<i style="color: #134f5c;">Kay </i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-17794930421826504322010-11-06T12:07:00.000-07:002011-03-05T13:43:08.409-08:00Need Help?<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>What I have found is that families that ask for my help sometimes know what they need to do (especially if they have read my book), but need someone to help them work through the steps anyway. I'd love to help you with your planning and preparing, using my nine-step program as the backdrop.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Most of us have more than one of these steps already completed, and need help only with one or two steps. Some of us need help with all of the steps! Whatever your need, feel free to contact me through email at kay@kaydiller.com. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I have helped people over the phone, in person (Boulder/Denver area), and by email. My fees depend on the help you need.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I look forward to hearing from you should you need help.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><i>Until next time,</i></div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><i>Kay</i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-52187469439969722122010-11-06T11:54:00.000-07:002011-03-05T13:43:43.629-08:00Why Plan and Prepare to find Peace?<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>It's funny, but I've never been asked this question, but it's a question I ask myself. Why did I plan and prepare in case anything should happen to me? My answer is always "My children."</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I learned first-handedly how difficult it is to work through a medical emergency when you or the person you are caring for are not prepared. I do not always wish to return my thoughts to these days, but for the sake of this blog, I will go back six years when my mother first became ill and passed a devastatingly long five months later. We thought we had things in order for her when she signed a simple statement that said she did not want to be kept on life support. Wow, was that ever a mistake! </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>What does it mean, </i><i>Not kept on life support? Did she want procedures done that would not prolong her life, but would tell the doctors what's going on inside of her so that we could make medical decisions for her? How long did she want to be on medications once it was determined she was in her last few weeks? That simple form the hospital gave us did not cover either of these questions and caused major disruption within our family. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>That experience woke me up and fast. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>After my mother passed, I took a hard look at my own will and medical declarations. I had a will but it did not cover what my wishes were regarding how my children would be taken care of. Nor did it have the right guardians and agents in it. I made earlier decisions on diplomacy, rather than who would rear my children as I would. When my mother passed, I set a task for myself to get a real will that covered my children based on our lives at that time, and not in the past. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>I know that my current durable medical power of attorney (my wonderful sister-in-law, Jean) will take care of business for me when I am not able to. I have shared with her what I want to happen and there will be limited decisions on her part when I am unable to communicate my wishes. The same is true with my durable financial power of attorney (my wonderful niece, Sandy Kay). </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Do I have everything organized and ready should something happen. Not a chance! I live a very busy life as a single mom of two active teenagers and I love every minute of this busy, sometimes hectic life, so things slip and don't get done. But can my power of attorneys step in for me and take over fairly fast? Definitely, yes.</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Can you say the same? What would happen should you be in an accident and unable to speak? Who can step into your shoes (power of attorney) and tell the doctors what you want? Who would take care of your children or dependents? They are the real reason we all need to plan and prepare. And once you are prepared, you will be able to let go and have peace, knowing your loved ones (and you!) are taken care of.</i></div><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Until next time,</span></i><br />
<br />
<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Kay</i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-76679992519169283732010-11-06T11:05:00.000-07:002011-03-05T13:46:44.221-08:00Step 1. Six Easy Steps to Finding the Right Estate Lawyer for You.<div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>There are certain steps in my program that are very easy to follow, but I'll tell you right now, finding the right estate lawyer for you is not one of them. This step takes time and careful evaluation so that you hire not just a run-of-the-mill, competent lawyer, but one that really, really works for you and your family. </i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><i>So how do you find this wonderful, perfectly-fit lawyer that is tailored-made for you? Good question. You can find a great lawyer by asking friends and family members who they use. You can also find a great lawyer <b>by luck</b>...or you can follow my </i><i><b>Six Easy Steps to Find the Right Estate Lawyer for You. </b></i>I sincerely recommend following my six easy steps, which are summarized below.</div><br />
<i><b> <span style="color: #134f5c;">1. Obtain up to 10 Estate Lawyer's Names</span></b></i><br />
<div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> You'll notice I said, "up to" 10 names. If you feel comfortable moving forward with the next five steps with only three names, go for it. You can always come back and add more names, if you need to. </div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> How do you find these names of reliable, competent lawyers? Ask friends, family members, church leaders, your doctors, Legal Aid, the National Elder Foundation (http://www.nelf.org/findcela.asp), the ABA, and if all else fails, the Yellow Pages!</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> <i> <b>2. Research Estate Lawyers</b></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> Find our more about these lawyers such as the school they went to, the type of law the lawyer focuses in on, how long has the lawyer worked in estate planning, and are your special needs met with this lawyer (such s English as a second language or elder law). You can find this information from the internet, ABA, firm advertising, and by referrals.</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> <i><b>3. Interview by Phone up to Five Estate Lawyers</b></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> This is when the sweat hits the pavement...yes, sweat! You have to call lawyers and interview them by phone to get a first impression on how they come across. Would you be able to talk openly with them about personal and many times private matters? What do you ask them? Sample questions are found in my book's worksheets, located at the back of the book. I will share a lot of information with you about my program in this blog, but sometimes you'll just have to go buy the book to work through the program! This is one of those times.</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> <i><b> 4. Meet and Interview in Person 2-3 Estate Lawyers</b></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> Yikes again! In person interviews can be scary if you are not prepared. However, because you will have questions already to ask (again, found in my book!), you will be able to move through these interviews with new found confidence. You will understand what the heck the lawyer is saying because you will have read my book, <i>Planning, Preparing and Peace, </i>which helps explain basic legal jargon and puts everything into easy to understand terms. A must read, if you ask me.</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> <i><b>5. Select Your Estate Lawyer</b></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> The worst is behind you after the interviews. Now you compare the lawyers, using my handy-dandy comparison worksheet (yes, found in my book, along with the other worksheets mentioned above). Who knew their stuff the best? Who could you talk to easily? And after all the analysis is done, you have the right to toss away all the criteria and analysis and go with the estate lawyer that made you feel the most comfortable. That's really the most important, but to get here, you had to go through Steps 1-4 first. Make a decision with confidence!</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> <i><b>6. Hire Your Estate Lawyer</b></i></div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"> Now you get to call your lawyer and start working with them on your will, medical declarations, and perhaps a trust or two. The first step the lawyer will take is to have you complete a fee agreement, which explains what the lawyer will do for you and for how much. Review this document carefully to make sure it is consistent with what the lawyer said during the interviews. Once that is done, sign the fee agreement! And celebrate as this is a huge step for anyone to complete! </div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;">The lawyer will take it from here and it's all downhill for you. You did a great job on finding your estate lawyer and you feel comfortable with the amount of money and the services you will receive because you took your time and followed the above six steps above. Doesn't get any better than this! Good job!</div><div style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c;">Until next time,<br />
<br />
Kay</div> <div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6459383031636778183.post-39605481899283256782010-11-06T09:06:00.000-07:002011-03-05T13:43:56.551-08:009-Steps to Peace<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Below are my nine steps to plan and prepare so that you can find peace and know that your family is well protected should a medical emergency occur. This is a great place to start with my program! I'll be blogging about each one of these steps in the near future so stay tuned and return often! </span></i><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<div><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Until next time,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></div><div><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Kay</span></i><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></b></div></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> <i> </i></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Confidently choose the right estate lawyer for your needs with Kay’s Six Easy Steps to Finding the Right Estate Lawyer for You.</span></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Work with an estate lawyer to create your will, and keep it updated.</span></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Work with an estate lawyer to create your medically related documents, such as your living will and medical durable power of attorney. </span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Work with an estate lawyer to create your financial durable power of attorney.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Review your life, health and long-term care insurance to ensure adequate, affordable insurance coverage that will best protect you and your loved ones.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Document your medical information, using Kay’s worksheets, to ensure you receive the best medical care possible.</span></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Put it all together at home by organizing essential documents and worksheets for easy access and use.</span></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin-left: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">8.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Communicate your medical and financial wishes to your loved ones, agents and executor.</span></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="color: #134f5c; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">9.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Complete an annual review of your documents and worksheets, updating any changes that occurred during the year. </span></i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Learn more about Planning, Preparing and Peace at Kay's website: http://www.kaydiller.com</div>Kay Dillerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367642058887721821noreply@blogger.com0